Too Busy

Lately, I have noticed a lot of people posting on Facebook, "I am too busy to be sick."  (What does that even mean?  Isn't being sick your body's way of telling you to slow down?)  Last month, I was too busy to remember much of anything.  (Because that's healthy.)  Yet, being "too busy" has become a badge of honor we wear.  When we should be saying, "I am too busy.  I need to slow down, so my body and mind can rest, so I can reflect, so I can be," we are saying, "I am too busy for sleep, too busy for illness, too busy to spend time with my family, and too busy to take time for myself."  And we say it with pride.

It is as though our value comes from how busy we are.  If you are an attorney, you are SO busy at work.  If you are a stay at home mom, you are SO busy shuttling kids from school to soccer to dance.  We tell people how busy we are to demonstrate how important and useful we are.  And we praise each other for it, because the busier you are, the more important you must be.

I recently finished a book for my book club called Still Alice.  It is written from the point of view of a woman with early onset Alzheimer's disease.  It made me reflect on the societal value we put on being busy.  It made me reflect on my own need to be busy.  I wonder how our lives would be different if we started valuing NOT being busy.  If we praised spending the day in a hammock, instead of seeing it as a glutonous luxury.  If our children spent hours playing in the backyard with sticks, instead of being constantly entertained by one activity or another.  If our lives were about less, instead of more, more, more.  I wonder if we are really getting more out of our lives or if they are so full, we are getting less.

This is one of my themes for the year:  Doing less.  When you are trying to run a small business, trying to make a long distance relationship work, trying to give back to the community, trying to have meaningful relationships with friends and family, and trying to improve yourself as a person, it is easy for your life to get out of balance.  It is easy to be "too busy."  And it is even easier to keep doing, when you are praised for it.

I hope you all won't think less of me if I learn how to spend time sitting and doing nothing.  I hope you won't think I am lazy if I don't go to the office everyday.  I hope you won't think I don't care about the community if I don't join another board.  I hope you won't judge me if I am not so busy.  But if you do, that's okay, because I know to make my impact on the world, I need to allow enough time to see what that impact is.  When I am too busy, I can not see.

What were you too busy for today?

Image form:  http://gapingvoid.com/2006/02/23/too-busy/

RSVPing

A friend of mine thought RSVPing would be a good topic for the Bon Lemon blog. She recently organized an event. Sent out invitations. Called people. And the majority of those people did not RSVP. It wasn't that the majority of those people said they wouldn't be able to make it and she was disappointed, because she wasn't going to have anyone at her event. Rather, nobody told her one way or the other so she was left wondering whether she should get food for 5 people or 25. Should she buy a bottle of wine or a case? (I know, that's a dumb questions, but...) She was left a bit miffed.

Is the inability to RSVP due to a lack of concern for others, the impersonal nature of today's communications, or the desire to keep one's options open? I propose it is all three. It is impossible to plan an event if you do not know how many people are coming. Anyone who has planned anything from a football camp to a gala can tell you that. Back in the day, when you received an invitation, you responded. One way or the other. Not responding was simply not an option.

Today, you receive an evite, a beautiful letter pressed double enveloped invitation, or a call and maybe you respond, maybe you don't. You say you'll think about it. You don't say anything at all. I think the inability to RSVP is caused by a lack of personal responsibility. Our culture has made us anonymous. It has become socially acceptable not to RSVP, not to send thank you notes, and not to utilize common courtesies that once were obligatory. This sucks.

My plea for today: If someone goes to the trouble of inviting you to something, have the common courtesy to respond. A no is much better than no answer. And a yes assures there will be plenty of snacks for you to enjoy. Let's bring back common courtesy, so my friend won't be let with a case of wine to drink all by herself.


P to the S. Doesn't this beautiful invitation suite make you want to RSVP? It is a custom order by calliespondence.com. So sweet!