Race

I am not known for biting my tongue. Sometimes, my curiosity offends people. Othertimes, I would like to believe, it inspires people to think. Being on this reunion trip in North Carolina (the real south) and being my pot stirring self, it was inevitable I would bring up a discussion about race. (We had already covered politics, religion, child rearing, marriage, etc.)

We are a sorted group and reign from North Carolina, California, Washington, and Pennsylvania. Because of where we grew up, we all have different views on race. One of us does not respect black culture in her area. One of us thinks Mexicans are hard working. One of us has learned not to see color. One of us is surrounded by very little diversity at all. And one of us recognizes the disparities in education, wealth, and incarceration based on race and wants to effectuate public policy change to protect minorities.

It is my experience, people from the northwest tip-toe around the issue of race, because it is one of those things you are supposed to pretend isn't an issue. I have never understood why pretending we are all the same does any good. In the south, it is quite the opposite. Blacks and whites seem to be quite comfortable discussing their differences and the lack of integration that still exists. Some statements made by a southerner could sound racist, but I would venture to guess those same stereotypes live in many white/asian/black/hispanic northerner's heads as well. The latter just think they are more evolved, because they don't say them out loud.

I grew up in a number of incredibly homogenous areas. My high school was very white. My college was very white. My law school was very white. I have never lived in a diverse place. I think I overcompensate for my racial inexperience. When I pass a scowling, large, black man dressed in baggy pants, a jersey, and a Starter hat, I ignore the stereotype that is floating around in my head, and I look him in the eye, smile and walk by, rather than hurrying up and holding onto my purse. When I see a Mexican woman carrying two white babies in seersucker, I try to assume she decided to adopt, not that she is the nanny for a wealthy white family. Although, I am very comfortable with individual people of different colors, I have never been around groups of people of color enough to stop overcompensating for the stereotypes I don't want to fall prey to. If the first man had been white, I might have felt intimidated. I am perfectly comfortable stereotyping my own race, but because it was a black man, I overcompensated for any negative stereotype I might have had.

Which is worse: being rude to people because of what color they are or being artificially nice? I think both are a form of racism. If I were truly colorblind, I would not slight people for being black or red or green, but I would also not honor them for being so. Although, there are elements of racism in the south I strongly disapprove of, I respect the fact that here we can sit down and have an intelligent conversation about race and its many implications. Where I come from, we would be too busy speaking in platitudes and trying to change the subject. Do you think we will ever live in a world where we don't notice the color of people's skin?

Knowing When to Shut Up

Most of you who know me are probably thinking, "Well, she sure doesn't know much about this blog topic..." Alas.

In law school, you are surrounded by a very similar group of people who have some distinct similarities. The majority are trained to debate issues and use critical thinking skills. And most really like it. In our free time during law school we would go out and have heated debates about social problems and political issues over beers (likely many beers). This was thought to be a "fun Friday night." Now, being an adult in normal society, this kind of intellectual stimulation is not so readily available. Most people don't want to talk about politics, and challenging someones' critical thinking skills is seen as confrontational and rude.

Where does that leave those of us who really appreciated the intellectual debate of law school both in and out of the classroom? I think it leaves us trying to learn when to shut up.

I have been reading a couple of thought provoking books lately, and it has heightened my interest in dialogue with others about interesting current social topics. For the past two weekends, I have been involved in "political" discussions that ended with me feeling it would have been better to have never engaged in them to start with.

I have found that most intellectual conversation makes people uncomfortable, and regardless of how impersonal your arguments, people take them personally. From now on, I am going to work on cultivating my opinions, but keeping them to myself. I am going to work on learning when to shut up.

Wish me luck.

Fur

I am an animal lover. I consider myself reasonably socially conscious. I eat meat. I wear leather. And sometimes, I wear fur. Is this a contradiction?

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about fur. I do not want to be a hypocrite, and I do not want to participate in an industry I am ashamed of. I eat locally raised pork, because I am disgusted by the conditions factory farms raise pigs in. I drink organic, local milk, because I think it is better for the cow and better for me. And, I have always felt wearing fur was no different than wearing leather, except for the social stigma against doing so.

If you travel to cold climates, people wear fur out of necessity. It is the warmest fabric I have ever worn, much surpassing down (sometimes I wonder how much those geese like having their feathers plucked out), Thinsulate, etc. If you go to Russia, you will see all ends of the socioeconomic spectrum wearing fur coats, because people need it to keep warm. Here in the US, fur has the reputation of being a flashy choice indicating affluence.

I like the way fur looks, but more than that, I like that it is water repellent and soooo warm. There are some disturbing examples of animal mistreatment in the fur industry, but my research has shown this is true of all industries dealing with animals. There are companies that respect the animal and there are those that don't. My opinion has always been, the important part is to do your research on where you are purchasing animal products.

At times, I feel so much empathy for animals I think I should be a PETA supporting vegan. And more often, I think about the circle of life and how our ecosystem has functioned historically. Currently, I eat meat, wear leather shoes, and occasionally, a fur vest.

This blog promises to be a bit controversial. Fur is polarizing. Bon Lemon only sells animal friendly fur products. Part of the reason for this is, because I am still formulating my opinion on fur. It seems to me fur elicits an emotional reaction, but when you look at it logically, there is not much difference between wearing a fur vest and eating a piece of meat and wearing a leather jacket.

I welcome your comments both positive and negative. This discussion is like so many that are plagued with extremes on both sides. I am more interested in whether one can be an educated, socially conscious fur consumer or if buying fur is always bad.