Doing Good

I have been thinking about the life paths we choose and how we end up there. I have also been thinking about what is means to be "doing good." I spent some of my late teens and early twenties filled with an overwhelming guilt for the life I was given. First of all I was white. Based on my travel experiences, like it or not, in much of the world this makes your life easier. Next, I was American. Again, two steps up from a lot of people. Then, to top it all off, I was born into an upper-middle class family with two parents who loved each other and loved me. Gasp. I had all of my limbs, I was smart enough, not too ugly, and completely capable of doing anything I wanted. Logically, I was overwhelmed with grief.

How could I be born into this life of privilege, and others, through no fault of their own, were born hungry, afraid, and neglected. I could not understand how I would ever be able to prove to myself I was a strong person with integrity, when I knew I would never be confronted with the difficult choices some people faced every day. Could I clothe myself if I had no clothes? Would I give away my last piece of bread to feed someone who was hungry? How would I ever truly know my character if I never lacked anything?

I thought about moving to a city with nothing, living on the streets, and seeing if I could make it. I thought about spending years abroad volunteering. I was overwhelmed by how dismal my good fortune was. At some point, I am not sure when, I realized I wouldn't do anybody any good if I was paralyzed by my own blessings. I was savvy enough to realize the practicalities of how the world worked. I went to law school so I could have all of the tools, both financial and intellectual, to help people. But as a lawyer, I lacked joy in my own life. I dreaded going to work. I was painfully bored. I tried to remain positive and band-aid my feelings, but I knew I had to make a change. Thankfully, the universe helped me out with that. After spending so much time preparing to practice law, I struggled with what would be next. I wanted to do something I could get excited about. I wanted to work late into the evening, because I lost track of time. I did not want to watch the little clock in the bottom right hand corner of my computer ticking away as I billed fractions of an hour to my real estate clients. But when you can be whatever you want, how do you decide what to be?

After quite a bit of rumination, I decided to launch Bon Lemon. Peddling sparkly jewelry might not seem like a lofty goal for an altruistic lawyer with hopes of saving the world. Through successes, failures, relationships, and a little bit of therapy, I have realized the greatest gift you can give the world is to spread the joy that lies within yourself. Bon Lemon inspires me. I love thinking about people putting on a bracelet and feeling pretty. I love the mundane organizing, spreadsheet creation, and ordering that goes along with owning a jewelry business. I love donating 10% of our trunk show profits. I love having ultimate responsibility for my success that might someday allow me to start a philanthropic foundation. I am finally doing something I am good at and enjoy that benefits myself and others.

I could be in Africa, with a heavy heart, caring for HIV positive orphans. My path may lead me to Uganda or Sudan yet. But for now, I feel I am doing good here at Bon Lemon. I feel I am enhancing the lives of those within my circle and continue to spread the circumference of that circle. I plan to volunteer more of my time to the community. I am inspired to work harder and do more. I want to be a good friend, sister, citizen, girlfriend, business owner, advocate, and person. I plan to bring a little sparkle into people's lives with a cocktail ring or earrings, with the hope of making greater contributions over time.

I do not think character is defined by how difficult your life has been. We can not choose the cards we have been dealt, but we can decide how to play them. I think character is defined by seeking a path that inspires you, finding joy, and doing good.