I Am Inspiration

I have always been a seeker. And I have always considered myself a leader. And I have always hoped to lead by example. As a child, I always asked why. (Sorry mom.) As a young adult, I was the president of different student groups, traveled the world, and attended all sorts of different classes and experiences to expand the scope of my life. Today, I love tasting new foods, traveling to exotic places, creating businesses, understanding and enjoying people for who they are, and wearing lots of sparkly things (duh).

I have always believed I could create anything in my life, but I always got hung up on the path from point A to point B. After participating in The Landmark Forum I found that path or lack-there-of to be much more clear. (For those of you who are curious or those of you who think Landmark is a bunch of crazy kool-aid drinkers, an unbiased, succinct summary of the course can be found here.)

I now believe in who I am and what that means. Big stuff! This has allowed me to look at Bon Lemon in a whole new way. Previously, I was stuck trying to do the right thing. I wanted to take Bon Lemon from point A to point B, and I wanted to do it right. Whatever that means... I completely ignored the wonderful things we were already doing and living and only focused on those things we had not yet achieved. It was paralyzing us.

Bon Lemon has done so many great things in the past year and a half. We have added sparkle to many people's lives through beautiful baubles, charitable donations, shoulders to cry on, champagne drinking, sharing delicious eats, having heated political discussions, exchanging wardrobe advice, swapping babysitting services, sending sweet notes in the mail, having pride in our pretty packaging, happy talks, sad moments, and all of the experiences that have made up the last 621 ish days.

Bon Lemon is me, the Proprietress, Jill, the gal who laid the groundwork for it all, Peta, Kathy, Annie, John, Tyler, Chelsea, every person we have met, every person we will meet, our right moves, our missteps, inspiration, disappointment, the best baubles, and the one's that are best left for Grannies in Palm Beach (and you know we love Grannies in Palm Beach). Bon Lemon is everything we are and everything we will be. And Bon Lemon is you, our beloved Lemon Lovers.

I recently discovered what I want to be in life. I want to be inspiration. Some of you have blessed my life by sharing with me how Bon Lemon has inspired your life in the whirlwind since we opened our doors: Bon Lemon inspired you to follow your passion, to be an entrepreneur, to spend more "fun" time with friends, to get involved in the fashion industry, to develop self confidence, to give up a "safe" career you hate, to put on another accessory, and to give back. Bon Lemon has made you think, maybe, YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL.

Bon Lemon isn't going to change the world because we have a Black Friday sale and sell three more pairs of earrings. We are going to change the world because we inspire people. And as I said in a previous post, I believe to inspire people you have to live with guts. You have to put yourself out there. So, I would like to share with you the possibility I am creating for myself and Bon Lemon. It's a little scary, because it is BIG. Kind of like telling people you want to be Mother Teresa or Brett Favre. Or that you like bad music. Or hot dogs. People might laugh at you. Or think you are dumb. Or arrogant. But I hope sharing my possibility might inspire you to create a possibility for yourself. (Please share if you do, otherwise I am out on this limb all by myself!) Here goes... This is my possibility:

I will be a sparkly leader who inspires others to create productive, fulfilling, exciting, engaging, balanced workplaces, communities, families, and lives.

To me, living this possibility is clear. Bon Lemon is creating a large organization to employ many people in fulfilling, inspiring positions. We believe fulfilling employment is a powerful mechanism for empowerment and social change. Bon Lemon is creating a large organization that believes in altruistic capitalism and giving back. Bon Lemon will foster personal and professional growth, based on the belief that both are crucial to productivity and happiness. Bon Lemon will inspire living with joie de vivre. With the help of Bon Lemon, I will be a good friend, curious traveler, loving daughter, helpful sister, inspiring employer, spring board of a partner, fun dog owner, charismatic leader, concerned citizen, open minded volunteer, fair restaurant critic, daring fashion plate, and so many more things I haven't even discovered yet.

That is the possibility I have created. Thank you for being part of it. Now tell me what is possible for you?

Bullying. Empathy. Personal Responsibility. And Guts.

I have blogged about the act of blogging before. Blogging is a strange thing. A public diary. A style notebook. A recipe collection. A journal. Blogging can be many things. Those blogs that bare the heart and guts of the author are the ones that touch me most. A mother who recognizes the horror (and then guilt and then love) she felt when she gave birth to a child with Down's Syndrome. A soldier's wife who admits it is equally hard to adjust to her husband's comings as it is his goings.

And this week I was touched by my cousin's blog about being bullied as a teenager. Following the suicide of a teenager from her high school, my cousin blogged about the bullying she experienced in high school. Being told she looked like a mentally disabled kid when she smiled; being told she was a lesbian, because she had short hair; being followed home by girls who told her they were going to kill her. These are things I never knew about my cousin.

My cousin is one of the most genuinely kind people I know. She has always seemed to excel in athletics, academics, work, and social situations. I would never have known she was bullied. And I certianly would not have known she was carrying around that pain for years. Was I listening?

I recently completely The Landmark Forum. The only way I know how to describe The Landmark Forum is an intense self-improvement course. Jill Capuzzo said, "Other seminars may offer supportive hugs; this one hits you between the eyes." The Forum is completed by thousands of people around the world every year. The transformations can be so dramatic, some have referred to Landmark as a cult. People are so excited, they can be a bit salesy. You can do a Google search and read all sorts of reviews from different angles. For me, choosing to take The Forum impacted my life in ways I could never have imagined.

The Landmark Forum is one of many tools we can use to navigate life, but I think it is the Swiss Army Knife of self-improvement tools. It imparts a sense of empathy and personal responsibility that is never lost. The girls that bullied my cousin were afraid. Whether they were afraid of themselves, someone else, or both, I don't know. But if they were able to look at my cousin with empathy, maybe they would not have bullied her. If they had listened, they may have found bullies are not very different than those being bullied. Listening takes guts, because sometimes what you hear is scary.

When I was in high school there was a quarter when I didn't want to go to school, because there were some girls who were threatening to beat me up. Who knows why. Something about my ex-boyfriend. I have purged the details, because it is irrelevant to me now, but there was some pretty hard core harassment from a variety of angles that culminated with my parents getting involved. I never thought I was bullied, because my reaction was to become really tough. My reaction was to be more savvy than anyone else so I could avoid being the target again. And I was very successful. But, although, I admire my strength, I know I use it both as a tool and as a crutch. Keeping people at arm's length is easy and safe, but it does not require guts.

What if we all lived our lives with guts? With empathy? With personal responsibility? What if we wondered what must have happened to those girls to inspire them to bully another girl? What if we listened to our loved ones to hear the story they weren't yet ready to tell? What if we didn't see ourselves as victims of others, but them as the victims of themselves?

Some of the ways I have transformed my life post-Landmark sound a bit "woo woo." (My favorite buzz word for touchy feely things that don't seem particularly practical.) I see possibilities for myself and those people around me that appeared impossible before. I see people for who they are and why they are that way. This doesn't mean I am a zen master who has stopped thinking some people are jerks and that the government is full of self- interested facists :), but I am more in touch with the root and impact of those thoughts. I am committed to living with empathy and personal responsibility. I choose to live with guts. And I want to inspire people around me to live with guts.

Thanks to my cousin for inpiring me. And living with guts.