Race

I am not known for biting my tongue. Sometimes, my curiosity offends people. Othertimes, I would like to believe, it inspires people to think. Being on this reunion trip in North Carolina (the real south) and being my pot stirring self, it was inevitable I would bring up a discussion about race. (We had already covered politics, religion, child rearing, marriage, etc.)

We are a sorted group and reign from North Carolina, California, Washington, and Pennsylvania. Because of where we grew up, we all have different views on race. One of us does not respect black culture in her area. One of us thinks Mexicans are hard working. One of us has learned not to see color. One of us is surrounded by very little diversity at all. And one of us recognizes the disparities in education, wealth, and incarceration based on race and wants to effectuate public policy change to protect minorities.

It is my experience, people from the northwest tip-toe around the issue of race, because it is one of those things you are supposed to pretend isn't an issue. I have never understood why pretending we are all the same does any good. In the south, it is quite the opposite. Blacks and whites seem to be quite comfortable discussing their differences and the lack of integration that still exists. Some statements made by a southerner could sound racist, but I would venture to guess those same stereotypes live in many white/asian/black/hispanic northerner's heads as well. The latter just think they are more evolved, because they don't say them out loud.

I grew up in a number of incredibly homogenous areas. My high school was very white. My college was very white. My law school was very white. I have never lived in a diverse place. I think I overcompensate for my racial inexperience. When I pass a scowling, large, black man dressed in baggy pants, a jersey, and a Starter hat, I ignore the stereotype that is floating around in my head, and I look him in the eye, smile and walk by, rather than hurrying up and holding onto my purse. When I see a Mexican woman carrying two white babies in seersucker, I try to assume she decided to adopt, not that she is the nanny for a wealthy white family. Although, I am very comfortable with individual people of different colors, I have never been around groups of people of color enough to stop overcompensating for the stereotypes I don't want to fall prey to. If the first man had been white, I might have felt intimidated. I am perfectly comfortable stereotyping my own race, but because it was a black man, I overcompensated for any negative stereotype I might have had.

Which is worse: being rude to people because of what color they are or being artificially nice? I think both are a form of racism. If I were truly colorblind, I would not slight people for being black or red or green, but I would also not honor them for being so. Although, there are elements of racism in the south I strongly disapprove of, I respect the fact that here we can sit down and have an intelligent conversation about race and its many implications. Where I come from, we would be too busy speaking in platitudes and trying to change the subject. Do you think we will ever live in a world where we don't notice the color of people's skin?