Babies, Infants, Toddlers, and Children

ba·by   /ˈbeɪbi/
[bey-bee] –noun
1. an infant or very young child.
2. a newborn or very young animal.

in·fant   /ˈɪnfənt/
[in-fuhnt] –noun
1. a child during the earliest period of its life, especially before he or she can walk; baby.

toddler (ˈtɒdlə)
— noun
1. a young child, usually one between the ages of one and two and a half

child   /tʃaɪld/
[chahyld] –noun

1. a person between birth and full growth; a boy or girl: books for children.
2. a son or daughter: All my children are married.
3. a baby or infant.
4. a human fetus.
5. a childish person: He's such a child about money.
6. a descendant: a child of an ancient breed.
7. any person or thing regarded as the product or result of particular agencies, influences, etc.: Abstract art is a child of the 20th century.

I like children. I would say I love them. (Well, let's be honest, I love most of them.) I love spending time with children between the ages of 2.5 and 42.5. I like talking to them and figuring out how they think. I like learning new things with them. I like watching them grow. I like playing sports with them. I see children as little humans. I like them.

Babies, infants, and toddlers on the other hand... I do not know what to do with. After 4 months, when they have moved beyond the cute cuddley stage, I just don't get them. They can't talk. They drool a lot. And poop. And cry. You can't rationalize with them. You can't teach them about the meaning of life. Heck, they can't even sit up on their own for awhile. I really do love children, but I truly don't get babies.

Sorry, Maebel (my forthcoming niece). My visits might be short until you hit 2.5 and can start chatting me up and eating steak at the dinner table.

Your mom sure knew how to communicate. Check out that picture. Yikes!