Mobile Office

I have always enjoyed conducting business from wherever I happen to be. It makes life easier. And more fun. Today, I am conducting business from somewhere in Utah on I-17. I am the co-pilot on a 20 hour drive from Scottsdale, Arizona to Great Falls, Montana. I must be honest, I was not looking forward to this drive. I have logged A LOT of hours on the road this year spreading the Bon Lemon love, and the idea of tacking twenty more on just for fun sounded like listening to Michael Buble while eating mouthfuls of cilantro. (There is only so much sitting my butt can take before it, along with my stomach, start to look like a science experiment gone wrong. Even with my snacks of hardboiled eggs and oranges today, I feel myself melting into the seat.)

But 6 Par Farmer makes this migration twice per year. Once in the fall and once again in the spring. I thought it only right to accompany him. And I figured if I was going to be the passenger instead of the driver (I do help with the driving sometimes) I better be productive. I have been meaning to get the Verizon MiFi hotspot thingamajig, so I can use my fancy (read: complicated) new point of sale system on the road. So, I ordered up the thingamajig last week, signed on the dotted line and was ready to head off on our trek, armed with wireless internet connectivity.

So... here I am. With all of my gadgets. Videoing the drive. Playing Words on my iPhone. Trying to do my taxes on my iMac. Blogging with my Mifi. (A touch slow, but pretty cool to have on the drive.) All the while trying not to get carsick.

If I can get a few things done on the drive, beyond gaining 5 pounds and increasing my sodium consumption to alarming levels, I will consider this little endeavor a success. Hopefully, 6 Par Farmer will appreciate the company. Although, I think my impatience is tangible, as he offered to buy me champagne at the last gas station. (He's a lover.) When we arrive on Sunday in Great Falls, I will run around the block as many times as possible preparing for my 10 hour drive back to Olympia. I have to get back in the car? Shoot. Me. Now.

I need a jet.

Camelback

After 24 hours on the road, Dolce Vita Evans was ready for a good walk. He made it to the top of Camelback on his first try!

Driving

This is me in a driving coma. Not so pretty... But blog readers like photos, so good or bad, here you go. This is me being a good little blogger. This is an unattractive photo and a rambling example of poor writing, but it is my daily blog entry, as I have promised the hundreds of thousands of anxious followers who read Bon Lemon's blog. I love you all.

After spending the last couple of weeks touring the great state of Montana (Olympia to Whitefish, Whitefish to Great Falls, Great Falls to Billings, Billings to Great Falls, Great Falls to Ledger, Ledger to Great Falls, Great Falls to Missoula, and Missoula to Olympia), I am home. Sometimes I wonder how my health is affected by all of this driving (p.s., I can't spell affect or effect, so I just use them interchangeably, even though I know there is a proper spelling, but currently, I don't feel like googling which one I am supposed to use in this instance as I do every time I use the words, because it just won't seem to stay in my pea brain, so I will just tell you it has a 50% chance of being wrong. Sorry 9th grade English teacher. I have failed you.)

Anywho, how does driving a/effect your health? Or rather, how do we a/effect our health while driving? Clearly, sitting in one position for 12 hours cant be recommended by any PHD, MD, DO, DC, ESQ, etc. But what about what we do to ourselves while driving. Am I the only one who eats junk food while driving? A nation of truck drivers would indicate no.

I feel myself getting soft, but I also crave beef sticks (Oh Boy! Oberto Cocktail Pep beef sticks to be exact) and Orange Crush. Sometimes it is Corn Nuts and Big Hunks. Sometimes Subway, but more often McDonald's sundaes. How can you simultaneously feel your muscle tone decreasing and body fat increasing, while desiring corn syrup and partially hydrogenated oils? It is really quite disgusting if you think about it. Today, combined with a whole lot of other deep thoughts I needn't be thinking about, I was thinking about the negative a/effects said food consumption has on your body. And I was trying to be better.

So here I sit. At 10PM Pacific Time. In my cozy bungalow. Reflecting on my usual driving habits, and wondering if I may be turning over a new leaf. I am eating instant miso soup and Dave's Killer Bread with Kerrygold Irish Butter (which is so good if you haven't tried it). The only thing I bought at the two gas stations I stopped at was a 40,000 oz iced tea (unsweetened). I stopped in Coeur d Alene and ate a sensible lunch with a friend, which is totally against my only-stop-to-get-gas-not-even-if-you-have-to-pee-so-what-about-getting-a-bladder-infection driving style.

Maybe I am turning over a new leaf. Maybe tomorrow I will go on a 12 mile run to counteract the 96 hours I have spent sitting in the car in the last two weeks. Maybe I will eat brown rice and chicken breasts and I won't have to worry about the negative a/effects driving has on our health, because I will be such a specimen of health, there will be nothing to question. (Maybe I will stop using parentheses in my blog entries.) Let's be realistic, today is an isolated effort. (Oh, and I did forget about the Snickers I bought to go along with my iced tea. Oopsie.) Beef sticks, I have not abandoned you. Turn my body to mush, but I will not forsake you. Big Hunk, it won't be long, and we shall meet again.

So much for my questions about the a/effects of driving on the body. Turns out, it is not driving, it is just me that is bad for my body. I am off to bed. I have heard it is beneficial to rest directly after consuming carbohydrates. Nighty night.